Owning your SH%*
Let’s own it, own that nasty, yucky, sticky, emotional and physiological stuff that’s been bogging us down, stifling our true brilliance, tarnishing our beautiful souls. The stuff that keeps happening, the burnouts, the sicknesses, the blame, the guilt, the anxiety, the avoidance…ALL OF IT. We all have ^&(*…. You can think what you want about others lives being easier, better organized, happier, less stressful – however, it’s simply not true. What is true is that some people have certain tools in their pockets to create and maintain mental resiliency in times of trouble and duress.
“The cold hard truth is this: we all have shit in our lives that needs to be dealt with. Nobody’s life is perfect. Nobody, and I mean nobody, has gotten a free or easy ride on this attraction we call life.” – The Elephant Journal
As a trainer, I see it all unfolding in each and every one of you. The longer I know you, the more I see from a distance, the more I know from coaching you, and listening to your complaints and difficulties. That’s my JOB (and here you thought it was to get you to rip off 10 more burpees than you wanted to). Nope. As trainers we are change facilitators first and foremost. We lead and support, and do our best to hold you accountable. The problem is many people do not see where and how they are struggling until it snowballs out of control.
Let’s talk about November. Let’s talk about post election. Let’s talk about shorter days, recycled air and reduced immunity to bugs. These things AFFECT US ALL – so why is it that some people manage to slug away and keep up with the goals they set out for themselves while others struggle to get out of bed in the morning? It’s time to take a hard look in the mirror and find out why your health is compromised. Figure out where you %^&ty attitude is coming from and deal with it face to face. Own your %^$( – The answer always lies within you. Maybe we have to set better boundaries, maybe we need to see a naturopath, maybe a psychologist. There isn’t any shame in that. Sometimes it’s simple, sometimes it’s not. What I will tell you is this – every time you quit and start over again, it’s harder to do each time.
Past the shiny and new stage. Let me guess, Sept started, the kids went back to school and you shouted HALLELUJAH, its time for me. You hit the floor with vim and vigour hopeful of trimming up, feeling alive and strong. Fresh with some positive feelings that affected your actions. Fast forward a few weeks. You’re sore, you’re tired, work is busy, so is your home life. It’s harder now – you start skipping and cancelling sessions, making promises to get cracking next week. Next week same same and before you know it, you have fallen off the wagon. I see it all the time. It’s one thing to take a few days off – that’s healthy and warranted in a lot of cases. Most of the time, I hate to say it, it’s you not owning your &^%^. Moving on, let’s talk about how to do that.
The snowball effect – feelings, thoughts and actions. If you take away anything from this hard conversation is this: Thoughts become feelings, which turn into actions/behaviours that reinforce feelings and so on. Recognize those evil kernels straight away and you will be better positioned to counter those feelings of fatigue, self pity or whatever it is that is keeping you back. Were you ever part of a team in highschool? I guarantee you got your ^%$% together and went to practice even though you felt terrible or you had too much homework to do. Your team mates relied on you being there. News flash – SO DO YOUR WORKOUT BUDDIES. We all inspire each other to push on. When we see you quit, we too are less motivated to charge on.
Mental Resiliency – the power of 3. Every time a negative thought pops up in your head, like “I’m not making any progress”, “I’m too busy”, I’m too tired”, “I’m not feeling 100%”, “Nobody will miss me” – write it down. Immediately counter the thought with 3 positive things that have happened or that you want to happen. Turn “I’m too tired to work out” into “If I work out, I always feel more energetic after”, “In 60-minutes, I will be in better mood and in my jammies”, “Yes, I’m tired, that’s ok. I’m human, but I have goals and goals aren’t met on the couch”. So on and so forth. Give it a try. Notice any recurring negative thoughts. If the same ones keep coming up, maybe it’s time to examine those a little more.
Recognize it, Own it – We can only really move forward when we recognize what is happening and what we are doing. Keep a journal and revisit it now and then. Call on some friends or professionals to keep you going. When you get calls from friends and trainers asking where you have been, don’t feel guilty and avoid those conversations. They NEED to happen in order for you to grow.
Now – Let’s get to re-visiting our goals and examining why they are not being met. Make a public statement below. Own your %$#@!!!!!
Love you all,